Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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