that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
