It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I love you. Go after that dick
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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