Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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