i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
