So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dignity is for republicans.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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