i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
