ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I intend to get homeless drunk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.