pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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