I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me