if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
