I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
