I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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