I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
there's paper in my vomit.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
