turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
