??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
