you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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