HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
