Pappa wants mamma naked
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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