i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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