God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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