State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
