OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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