Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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