so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize