I think my fart just growled at me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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