So drunk its hurt
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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