I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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