you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My vagina is very pro this idea
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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