My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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