i would punch a child for taco bell
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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