just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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