Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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