Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
