oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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