I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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