I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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