hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
