ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
