So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
