Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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