I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
