dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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