plz talk dirty to me
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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