Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
