He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
