Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I had to cum in my sink.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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