We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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