and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
