I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize