Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
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I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
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all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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