then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
