I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i love accidental penises.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
