And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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