The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
