I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize