Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
