i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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