just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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