U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize