Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
