She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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