Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
