He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My feet surprised me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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