pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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