just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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