I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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