dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
