So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
